Exibitionist Instict? Hahaha.... xP

DYED MY HAIR!! AHHHH... lolz...
Kidding lah... it turned out ok.... my hair is 3 shades lighter now, and my bro says that I look like an intellectually endowed gangster...

Actually I didnt meant it to turn out so light... ah well... lolz... the things that battlenet can do to draw your attention away from more "mundane" things... haha
Like you hair...
and then.... *poof* (an angel choir is heard from X kilometres away singing)
Your hair turns lighter then it should be...

Now its DEFINATELY obvious that I dyed my hair... haha...
No more "Hey its black wad!" or... "I think I can see your color more clearly if you stand in this position"...

To all the color disfuntionalists out there, no worries! coz my hair would be tooo bright for you to not notice the change...
Take out the sunglasses peepz!
Its SUMMER TIME!!

haha...

Anwayz... my godsista was wrote in one of her latest blog entries that blogspot.com should be changed to bitchspot.com, coz there are so many people bitching about other people on their blogs...
Sigh.. its a sad fact... but true.. when people use blogs as open advertisments to bitch about people...
one very good example would be http://www.xiaxue.blogspot.com which is (for God knows why) one of the most popular blogs in Singapore...

I am going to put one more important news value that attracts people : Bitching

Oh.. and if you're thinking what I think you're thinking.... yes... Sex sells.. and it is officially a news value...

but not bitching yet...

This an excerpt from the person who has been ka-chiaw-ing my God-sis and making her piss off...

"Before you start thinking that i'm some kinda ah soh who loves gossiping about untrue rumors in the market, I need to clarify this.. I only bother bitching about people who

1) act cute

2) act cute

3) act cute."

ooh.. "I hate people who act cute" nia... LOLzzz.... I presume that she is very cute herself isit? ^_-

Since she only bitch about people who act cute, I'll take up that policy for this very entry, and blog about HER...

She should take a peek at my class and she'll suddenly feeel that she is so un-cute...

OK.. this is the first bit....

the second bit REALLY pissed me off..

What's wrong with most young Christians nowadays? When I say young, I mean people who just accepted Christ, who are still new in the world of Christianity. All you can see in their blogs are thank you phrases attributed to our Lord Jesus. It's really ok to be pious, I just don understand why people write it all over their blog when they DO NOT behave or speak in that manner?! Is it a new trend now? I know I ought to be happy that another person in this world is saved, but should I be happy when people go to church merely to make frens, to show that "I'm a Christian too and I know it's cool!"
God, help me!
"Father Lord, thank you for your mercy that you have on us. Forgiving us when we have sinned. Father, I put my trust in you and trust in all your plans for me. Amen."
Why do people need to pray out loud in their blog like this??
Showing more people means that the chances of God answering to your prayers are higher?
*wonders*

btw.. she is referring to my godsista....

If that bi-atch really reads this entry, take heart madame, I'm bitching about you now becoz you bitched about MY GODSIS...
how could you even think of bitching a person who has over a hundred people visiting her blog?...
when you have less then 10?.... you're lucky my godsista is not da type for revenge... or you're soo dead...

F.Y.I. - A blog is an online diary of events happening in a person's life. Be it public or private, it is relatively uncontrollable. IF you happen to have anything you dont like about another person's life, take it with a pinch of salt, and nobody else will hantam you back.

anywayz.. back to why i hate that entry.

First, Christians are NOT perfect, unlike what many people presume or stereotype us to be. We are only perfect because Christ came an took away our imperfection.

Second, what is the definition of a matured Christian? One that has complete trust and belief in Christ, being sure that He is the centre of his or her life?

Well then, if this is the defination, then it leads to question 3
Then why shouldn we blog about Christ on our blogs? Our blogs reveal our thoughts and feelings, so if we blog about Jesus on our blog, it only goes to show that He is centrally of importance in our lives.
Prayer is part of our daily walk with Christ, and prayer is our way of talking to Him, if you think that we do it as part of "exibitionist" instinct, then let me tell you something.
Why do you blog?
Exibitionist?
Why do you bitch?
Exibitionist?
Why do you post up act-cute photos in your blog?
Exibitionist.

My godsista, and many others who post their prayers, and deepest feelings on their blogs, are much stronger then people who just blurt our their point of view without even analysing the reasons carefully.

Call me a bi-atch... but ah well..

I am an entity of anger as well.. sometimes..........

Dying fire.... Dying confidence...

And I'll follow You there...

To the place where we meet...

And I'll lay down my pride...

As You search me again...

Your unfailing love over me... again...

-extract from "Your Unfailing Love" - Hillsongs

Sigh... I feel I've failed God so many times...
I dont even think I deserve any more good things from Him sometimes....
Falling into temptation, neglecting Him...

I'm falling away again... but I don't want to... I really don't want to...

I watch as my friends grow into maturity in Christ...
and I watch as some other friends backslided into the world again...

Pains me as I watched my fire burned and die out... watch it burn itself out...
Slowly dying..... I dont want it to fade away...
Into obscurity....

Anywayz... sigh.. hope God can forgive me for all the things I've let him down recently..

Have been really slacking around and doing nothing much..... I feel so empty and discontinued inside...
Sometimes I wonder if some people are put on earth to make the earth a more boring place... I feel that I bore people sometime...

Though I may seem extrovert most of the time, in truth, I am also an introvert... a person who wants to be alone sometimes...
but I need friends... because... friends make me feel like I'm wanted on this earth...
And I try to make my friends feel good also...

I would highlight any good point that I come across in their lives and drone about it until they get it drilled in their head... so that they can boost their self confidence...
something that is lacking in alot of people nowadays...

But sometimes... it is at the expense of my own.... it hurts when people reject you...




My blog frequency has been reduced to less then a 100 everyday...
Yesterday was only 40... it feels kinda terrible... I used to have more people reading...

See.. i bore people....

sigh...
I love people... but somehow I got a feeling people dont love me....

Mental Breakdown...

I'm starting to wonder if the actions I do and the abilities I have are paranormal...

Since young, I have been able to control my dreams... Good or bad, I cannot decide, but I can control anything that happens in the dreams to my own advantage or mood...
If I am very tired, I usually sit back as an invisible figure and watch the dream(s) flash by...
If I am curious, I would explore and do things like a small kid...

My mind thinks differently in many ways as well...

I could command myself to forget something, (if its not so important), and INSTANTLY forget it, permernently until somebody or something reminds me again....
One example is today, which actually happened quite a couple of times already...

I was holding a tissue paper in my hand, and it was soaked with sweat... (eww.... coz it was an extremely hot day)... There wasn't any dustbins nearby, so I just made myself forget that I was every holding a tissue paper... And thus, for the next TWO and the HALF HOURS I walked around Orchard Road with that tissue paper in my hand...
erpz.. tell me about forgetful...

And I'm startin to get worried about it too...
Though I am pretty good at music, having the ability to play a song after hearing it once or twice... I CANNOT memorize most songs untill I've sang or played it like 10+ times... which is terribly bad for a normal human being..

I realized this when my class when for K-Boxes visits, and on today's occasion, PartyWorld...
I knew many songs, almost all the songs they were singing, HOWEVER, I could not sing them as I just did not know how to sing them... in a wierd way..
Bad bad bad bad.... I cant even memorize songs lyrics...

Sigh...
Anywayz.. The chalet response seems slow.. very slow... so sad... want to cry le...
My church friends are going anywayz...
Maybe 10 peepz would be enough for a small chalet...

sobz...

An old man and his dog =)

An old man and his dog were walking along a country road, enjoying the
scenery, when it suddenly occurred to the man that he had died. He
remembered dying, and realized, too, that the dog had been dead for many
years. He wondered where the road would lead them, and continued onward.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of
the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was
broken by a tall, white arch that gleamed in the sunlight. When he was
standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked
like mother of pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like
pure gold. He was pleased that he had finally arrived at heaven, and the
man and his dog walked toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw someone
sitting at a beautifully carved desk off to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, but is this
heaven?"

"Yes, it is, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought
right up." The gatekeeper gestured to his rear, and the huge gate began
to open.

"I assume my friend can come in..." the man said, gesturing toward his
dog.

But the reply was, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought about it, then thanked the gatekeeper, turned back
toward the road, and continued in the direction he had been going. After
another long walk, he reached the top of another long hill, and he came
to a dirt road which led through a farm gate. There was no fence, and it
looked as if the gate had never been closed, as grass had grown up
around it. As he approached the gate, he saw a man just inside, sitting
in the shade of a tree in a rickety old chair, reading a book. "Excuse
me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there," the man said, pointing to a
place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in and make
yourself at home."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"He's welcome too, and there's a bowl by the pump," he said. They walked
through the gate and, sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump
with a dipper hanging on it and a bowl next to it on the ground. The man
filled the bowl for his dog, and then took a long drink himself.

When both were satisfied, he and the dog walked back toward the man, who
was sitting under the tree waiting for them, and asked, "What do you
call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is heaven," was the answer.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "It certainly doesn't look
like heaven, and there's another man down the road who said that place
was heaven."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?"

"Yes, it was beautiful."

"Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it offend you for them to use the name of heaven like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but it actually saves us a lot of
time. They screen out the people who are willing to leave their best
friends behind."

Author Unknown

---

CHALET LOCATION ! =D

MY CHALET LOCATION IS UP!! =D

Peepz look-see!!!

Chalet Location : Costa Sands Resort (Sentosa)

Arrival Date : Sunday, 01-May-2005

Departure Date : Tuesday, 03-May-2005

Booking Number : R0410D3E4

Check in : 2:30 PM Sunday

Check out : 10:30 AM Tuesday

Please come please come!!! xP
I think like over 20 peepz are coming already!! so cool! haha....

hope more people from my class can come =D

Two Positions and a Competition

sigh... nothing much to post... life is getting pretty boring...
Cant wait for the chalet...

Just got a call from Esther (my Gen12ii mission leader) that Calvin would'nt be able to make it for the mission trip itself... So I'll be taking over his postition as Logistic I/C on top of being the photographer and reporter.. lolz

swell.. lolz... (no.. really... I'm quite happy to take up this postition coz I've got like nothign to do at all =D)

So far about 10 + people I know are going for the chalet, excluding my church friends, that would run up to... 20+ people...
WEE!! haha.... and best of all, my kor and didi will get to meet my church friends too =D

Lolz.. sekarli they know each other.. lolz..

I've just gotta make myself more useful this holiday... So I went to join Pansonic's MDA Digital Film Fiesta along with my friend (AleXieee) who works in the media industry to come up with a short movie.. lolz
I hope we'll be granted use of SP's Digital Media Studio.... or I'll be like really screwed.. coz thats all I have ta offer becoz he's the one with most of the skills around...

Meeting him on friday to brainstorm for ideas for the short story...
He's a reaaaaally sweet guy.. lolz... ah well... he's attached... not surprisingly.. lolz!

I am like SO lazy to go down to the gym that I amaze myself sometimes.... I like get into a bad mood everytime I look in to the mirror but I don wan to do anything about it...

It is like damm stupid lor... Sigh.. who ask gah-ment dont want to build any swimming pool in the CBD area... duh.. haha..
And the gyms are like hell expensive as executives and expats are the one patrolling the fitness arena...

Boom.. so here I am... getting lighter and lighter as the day goes by.... I can die...
(btw... the reason why I'm getting lighter is because I'm losing muscle mass. Muscle mass gets converted into fat mass. My body's metabolism rate is ultra-high. See?)


I think I'm going to fail my NAPFA in my third year... Most likely i'll ace everything and FAIL at 2.4km again... -_-'

Well... I really dunno what ta do...

Back to typing out my action songs for Gen12ii...

Chalets + Missions! = HOliday

Busy busy busy... I'm sooo busy.. haha! =D

My chalet is coming up! Cant wait.. lolz... xP

There are soo many people who are going to turn up already... So far, from my class, May and Timothy and Sharina are coming... =D yaaay!
Wish more people could come! =D

Alot of other people would be coming too! hahaha... we're going to have SOOO much fun...

*wish wish wish wish* My best birthday wish would be that many many people would come to my chalet! haha... though its pretty short sighted.. lolz


My mission trip draws near... (*blinks with anticipation)
haha! A few more weeks and I'll be going to help out at a student centre where I'll learn how to interact with the students over there as well as spread the Good News!

I'll be staying at a place called "The Third Place" which is fully air conditioned and has proper facilities! =D
And my team mates are pretty cool tool!
Met up with them today... everybody was their usual bouncy self... except Joyce... she seemed stress or something...
She jus wasnt her usual self... ah well...


The dates are all rushing towards my face.... but i'm still feelin great as ever =D
if not for the fact that I haven collected my mission fund completely yet.. arrgh!
but.... Still cool..

Wonder what I should buy for the bbq for my chalet.. ahhh!! excited excited!!

The location! =D 

The Charles Scholtz Philosophy

The Charles Schultz Philosophy

You don't actually have to take the quiz.

Just read the emailstraight through, and you'll get the point (an awesome one) that it is trying to make!

Take this quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss Singapore contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzerprize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for bestactor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in theirfields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried withtheir owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey throughschool.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through adifficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you somethingworthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciatedand special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspiredyou.

Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
They are the ones that care...

INVITATION TO MY BIRTHDAY CHALET!!

Hey!!! Everybody!

I've a chalet on the 2nd of May!!

EVERYBODY IS INVITED!!!

ESPECIALLY MY CLASS!!! =D

( after my chalet, we can go directly to May's chalet!)

Please please come??... Pretty please with sugar and spice and everything nice?

Its at Sentosa!!

AND ITS FREE!!!

Once again, EVERYBODY IS INVITED =D

Jus drop me a message on my handphone : 90701757

or message me on MSN when I'm online : Axton_Z@hotmail.com

OR jus tell me straight to my face!!

I'll tell you the exact location and address once I received your message

= BloG RePLieS =

Lawrence :
Lolz... NYP is sooo early.... awwww.. haha!
SP students have all the way up to 28 May! But guess it would be better as you would get an earlier holiday break bah... xD

Flo :
YOU HAVE FUN TOO!!! =D sigh... I miss the classss

Jojo :
Mei Mei! =D Lolz... It works for some people I guess... But it works pretty well for me.. hahaz...
I cant use oxy coz its too strong for me too...

Ezekial :
Didi!! =D haha... why you suddenly say you read my blog... >.< haha... I always knew you did ! xP

Holidays and Haircuts =D

Lolz... this must be one of the rare times where I haven't blog for like so long...

Reason being that the holidays are getting really very draggy and boring... I miss my class... ALOT... I miss everybody in my class and grouppy...
Everyday.. I'll wake up and look forward to go to school becoz of em...

Now... Its jus wake up (anytime) and sit in front of the computer and find pictures and graphics and think of ideas for websites and flashes...
bah-ha... I think I would be a flash-pro by the time I return to school... lolz...

I cut my hair on wednesday.. changed my hairstyle again...
Now I look more punk then ever... Hmm... still very unused to the hairstyle but its pretty neat-o I guess...
Two thumbs up for Michelle!

In the spirit of entrepreneurship, she has opened up her OWN hair salon... Quitting Evolution Hub to create Xquisite Hair Designs....
Really Xquisite...

haha... Until now, I cant find a better hair salon that gives good value for money and a nice custom, made-to-perfection, haircut.... if you have no ideas for wad type of hairstyle you want, her own designs are pretty cool too!
Ranges from Timothy's "Nicholas Tze-Punk Rocker" hairstyle (.. i dunno why its punk rocker hairstyle... but ah well.. anywayz..)
to Gatsby's "if you're happy and you know it" hairstyle...

all for a mere 9 bucks for haircut and 16 for a wash and cut...

its hyper cheap... with all the additional services like styling tips and cute hairstylists... its de best!
lolz... (not advertising at all lor!)

anywayz..
I think I'm not going to create the website for my father already... he doesnt even seem interested in the idea... even though I'm offering him a service for free which would cost him thousands if he hired a person to do it...

I would concentrate on creating advertisements for the Agape Youth... guess my work would be more appreciated work over there... I guess.

Oh yeah! I just fell in love with this!

Garnier - SOS Anti-Blemish Pen

Its like omg.. so effective! haha... Its the ultimate OVERNIGHT pimple killer...
1 hit K.O.
and there aren't frequent relapses... but its a tad expensive for a teeny little tube like dat.. $6.50 where it can be used up in like a week or so...

but its still cheaper then stuff like proactive solutions and the such....
negetive side effect that seem to happen is that skin becomes rather photosensitive... so people like Ryan, highly advise not to use it.. coz you'll be sinusy all day...haha....

sigh...

The things that I would do to obtain the perfect face...
it seems so materialistic... but I really wish... that I looked really good..

One of my greatest wish is that one day, when I walk on the street, people will actually *blink, look back and tell their friend next to them "hey! that guy looks really cute/handsome/swai/etc" be it guy or gal who says that....

Metrosexual tendencies.

It will take me ALOT for me to look at myself and grade myself satisfactory coz there is always some part of me that I need to improve... from head to toe...

I wonder who actually reads my blog.... Is it true that the counter can really reach up to over a hundred? or is blogpatrol playing tricks on me?...
but the people reading my blog is getting less and less.... ah well.. this would be my personal diary anywayz....

I miss my DMC classmates... Alot...
Sonia, Jason, Timothy, Sarah, May, Aizat, Ryan, Jawei, Jia Ying, Becky, Flora, Jesslin, Mei Hui, Sharina, Sabarina, James, Jasmine, LARVERNIA, Jonathon.. ahh!! who else?.... >_<
I think I named em all....

sigh... Dear God, please protect them and bless them alwayz =D

I love em sooo much...

To my blog readers, DMC 1B-02 is my polytechnic class which is also the coolest class in the world!
oF coz lah! where else can you find Arial to M2M, and a whole band in one class?

we rock!

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!

EXAM IS OVER!!!!

AHHH!!!

haha... the stress is over!! I'M FREE!!!! hahaha....

I just cant wait to start spending my holiday... lolz...

ECONOMICS is GONE!

IPRA is GONE!!!

lolz... now I just need to wait for my results to see is if I qualify to take the double diploma course..

haha...

ah well... I tried my best while balancing my mood.... Know I could definately have done better if I didnt control my mood though...

But the last thing I want to happen now for me to be DEPRESSED...

lolzz...

Went out with my kor after the economics exam...

He looks so tired... I looked so tired.. lolz... so we were tired together..

but he needed to find a job!... so we went to MANY MANY shops to fill in forms and talk to chatty managers...

He might be working at Kenny Rogers' ..... haha... cool... then I can learn from him how to do their trademark bangles and mash...

It is going to be a hectic holiday for me....

I have :

1. Ms Hui's invitation for me to be an usher in an event where many leaders in the industry gets lectured by her
2. To dye my hair! (timo!!! when you want to dye?)
3. To cut my hair! (timo!!! where is the new hair salon?)
4. Attend 3 mission seminars, at least 5 mission team meetings and a few team outings
5. 2 weeks Charis Children Centre mission GEN12II
6. Do a website for my father
7. Do a website for my church
8. Do a proper logo for my church youth
9. Get my interview at SP Specialist Diploma done
10. Get back my body shape... (eeerpz...)
11. Go to Sentosa AT LEAST 4 times
12. Prepare to return back for an even more hectic semester...

Haha... my life is so fun...

Anywayz.... Since its a trend on everybody's blog to put on their much-anticipated results... then I will as well
Here goes nutting...

DVPA - C to B ( Coz Mr Loh didnt give us much hints on out marks)
IVP - B+ (i'm not sure...)
WP - DISTINCTION
NW - C+ (hope i can get a B at least)
FUNE - B
GEMS - B+
IDEAS - A (distinction?)

GPA : At least 3.3 and above

nah.. see? Not very high right?
weeeeelll...

ahh... my mind is still floating with TVC, AVC, MC and MR etc... all stuck inside... lolz... its floating like dead jellyfish in my sea of thought...

I'd better get working on the stuff...
I'll be going to school tomorrow for a swim, then I will extract the information (through explicit means) on the whereabouts of the new hairsalon from Timothy then I'll go cut my hair...

Hmm... my hair will be Ash Brown next week...

A great weight has been lifted of my head now.. lolz.. like the magnet suddenly lost its power... and stopped sucking information in like a black hole...

Anywayz... GOT TO SLEEP
waking up early to plunge into icy cold water

Ciaoz peepz... seeeya in la la land....

AHHH!!! P.S. Talking about LA LA land.. Larvernia.. the ultimate shadow shapeshifter appeared in class today! After about a disappearance of 18 weeks, she appeared again! wow! And she completed her paper in 30 mins out of the 2 hours given... powerful rite!!
*Lavernia : BOW DOWN TO ME YOU DODO BRAINS! OR I SHALL RAPE YOU FROM THE SHADOWS!!!*

lolz... ah well.. am I bad or what?....

I just detest her for molesting our class' perfect attendance...

DMC Students Poll : What modules do you like?

RESULTS FOR POLL : (For DMC Students) What is modules do you like?

News Writing (3)
16%
Digital Video Production (2)
11%
Web Publishing (4)
21%
G.E.M.S. Misc Module (2)
11%
I.D.E.A.S. Module (0)
0%
Issues and Viewpoints (3)
16%
Public Relations and Advertising (1)
5%
Economics (0)
0%
Ah hack... I hate em' all... =P (4)
21%

And the winner is...

WEB PUBLISHING!!

followed up by "Ah hack... I hate em all... =P"

lolz... Ms Kwa must be sooo happy.. =D

CoMpLaInz!!

Hmm...
I suddenly realized that Polytechnic Year 1 has ended...

ARRRGH!!! ARRGH!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

shooot... so fast....

s i a n z...


I'm getting old *check for white hair*
This is bad...

Hmm.. anywayz... Today has been pretty unproductive again... with little more then GDP and GNP and a teeny weeny little bit of INDUSTRY going into my head...
hey.. it rhymes ok..

I got alot of things to complain to blogger about :

1) Why is my bandwidth sooo little?

2) Why cant I modify my template ANYMORE?

3) Why does the server keep crashing on me?

4) Why do I have to re-post about 4-5 times sometimes?

5) Why is my "number of posts" still at '68' when I've obviously posted hundreds or possibly thousands of posts already?

6) Why is Xia Xue more popular then me?

7) Why did you change your name to BLOGGER when it was BLOGSPOT in the past?

8) Why is that irritating blogger bar on top of the page?

9) Why is your template not user-friendly?

10) Why are you sitting in your chairs and NOT doing something about it?


YupZ... I am an ugly Singaporean. Complain Complain Complain...
The 5 Cs
1st C - Complain
2nd C - Complain
3rd C - Complain
4th C - Complain
5th C - Complain

and we wonder why the government couldnt bother to hear us out... wtf... if I was the government I would get freaking headaches too...
My mum's nagging is bad enough already..

---

"Voice of Truth" - by Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
on to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
On top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

Chorus:
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe-

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you, you are-

---

la la la la la la....

2 more days and the LAST PAPER WILL BE OVER!!! Then I can go out! OUT OUT OUT!!

Ciaoz peepz...
I'm going to open up my econs text book and read myself to sleep for the 8th and final time today..

Econs NEXT.... but who cares?

Who am I ­that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Who am I that you would speak to me so softly
My conversation with the love most high...

...who am I

I couldn study much Econs today.. nor have I been studying much for the past few days either...

The day comes like a looming threat towards me...

But I'm not afraid... cause this time... I know what is my goal in life...

I do not live my life for myself, its for Him!

You are the centre of it all

The universe declares it all...

Your Majesty I surrender it all..

I WILL make you the centre of my life..

Your Majesty... My life will sing Your song...

I sound so different from what I would say last time.. haha!

Well then.. I'm changed... what can I say? lolz

Btw.. Raziel for your information is the Angel of Wisdom, who fought against the hordes of darkness according to greek mythology...

haha.. but I know that I am worth much higher then an angel in God's eyes..

Angels are God's servents..

I am God's child...

Who is bigger huh? LoLz

ME!

Thanks Pop!

CiaoZ

Quiz Quiz Quiz!!

You hide behind The Beauty Mask, you like to look
perfect in everybody's eyes, you like people to
envy what you have, you don't like to analyize
things you just take them the way they are,
that's why some people might say you are
irrational and shallow, but you like your life
this way, you don't like to ask for help, you
have a lot of friends but you feel that no one
is a true pal.


What kind of masks you hide behind? (i added pix)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are sad because of your fear


Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

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Your dating personality profile:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Athletic
2. Liberal
3. Religious
4. Big-Hearted
5. Adventurous
6. Stylish
7. Sensual
8. Outgoing
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Practical


Your date match profile:

Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.


P.S. haha.. I did this in a personality dating quiz somewhere... Lost the link though..

Things to see in the MRT!

It is interesting to observe the people in the MRT as you're going back home...
Other then counting the seconds and snapping your fingers when the door open or closes, you get to meet people from all "walks" of life...

Like this women who was wearing a g-string far too tight for her own good... Literally causing her already overbearing tummy to spill over her centre line... why doesn't somebody just tell her how to wear that stuff properly?
Her unique style of wearing that undergarment also highlighted her butt... NOT in the positive way of course...
Eekz.... it was like... You can see the butt protruding out... I'll spare ya the details.. she looked hidiously crooked...

Plus plus plus!!! Your interesting field of vision is not limited to improperly worn g-strings but also car buying monks!!
As the MRT passed by the Mercedes building, I saw a monk (yes... A MONK) chatting nicely with a car agent in the building and pointing to the car....
And what was even better that he got into the car and pretended to drive it!
uhhh...
What happened to all those stuff about attaining enlightenment through "release" from the world to get to nirvana....

well... There are always people out there that corrupt the image of religions all over the world...
it is just wierd when nobody actually tells them off...

and and and and... (I was simultaneously typing this while a peculiar channel 8 show was being aired...) a chinese drama serial where a girl changes her identity to a guy, in order to save his ass...
HOWEVER... when she CHANGES her identity to become a guy, she still has THICK LIPSTICK, PODRE FOUNDATION, and I'm sure she has Christian Dior sprayed all over her too..
and the dumb thing is nobody can tell that she is a women.... I'm like omg... they must be having some form of mental incapacity...



Anywayz... IPRA is over.... O-V-E-R!!
Bah.. It sucked anywayz... I couldn do like 15 marks... FIFTEEN MARKS DOWN THE DRAIN ANDREW!!!
It mocks me...

BUT... I did study... so ah well... They can mock me for all they care...

Next up ECONOMICS...
Dee Dreaded Economics... I've been doing pretty well for all the tests.. hope I can keep it up in the examinations....

sigh... away from the books...
I've decided that I would start my own business when I've all grown up...
After poly, I'll get start off by joining an advertising firm... then once I've gained enough experiance.. let say.. in 5 years or so...
I'll use all the capital I have (if enough) to start my own freelance advertising firm... while working part time at the company first...

Ha.. then I'll try to get investors of form a partnership to merge and become an even bigger advertising company...
Lolz! I may even be able to compete against JC Decaux and Adlancer....


well... Its just a dream...

Dream on Andrew!
I think it'll take alota determination for me to doo dat...
But ah well..

alls well that ends well...
Ciaoz!

Everything to Me

Cold... Quiet day...
The termos reads 24 degrees in my house now... It feels like its air conditioned... just that it feels much nicer then air con...
Soft music playing around in the wind...

---

Avalon - Everything To Me

I grew up in sunday school
I memorized the Golden rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But i'll never be the same
Because he changed my life when He became...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that i'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that he is...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet you saying you've been...

You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You're everything to me
Lord, you're everything to me

---

He's everything to me.. More then a story...

Studying IPRA... I'm so unsure how to study Public Relations section... haiz...
My mind is now as frozen as the outside of my window...

So much to do.. I just feel so wierdly calm...

Reaching for the stars and PARTY!!

Reach for the stars...
Even if you dont make it that far, at least you'll have crossed the sky! =D

- quoted from Ms Norlinda, Henderson Secondary School HOD Humanities

---

Yeah.... I should be contented with what I have...
Why am I filled with frustration when there are people who need help around me but are still putting on a brave front?

IPRA - Introduction to Public Relations and Advertising...
Its one of the most vague(-st) modules/subject that I've ever taken.... (excluding the all-important IDEAS module and of course the... ermz... CD module...)

I'm like reading the textbook for the fourth time, yet I do not know what do I have to write for the first 3 questions...
Arrgh... the problems with falling asleep during lectures... I didnt copy the PR section of the notes.. now I'm like stuck with only advertising.... bah-humbag

Xiaxue wrote on her blog about the lalalaPOM and lalalaBOM.blogspot.com incidents... haha... she can be really sweet if she wants too... but well.. I still hate her for her self-righteous attitude...

Laziness is a virtue... especially if you're too stress.. Just sit behind a window, 25 storey high and let your imagination run wild... Today is such a nice day...
Everything is so calm and nice...
There are less then 20 noisy vehicles that I can see from my window, which just might be a record on a Sunday afternoon.. =P

Haha... my church friends are soooo sweet.. they want to organize a birthday party for me for my 18th birthday along with my family...
Its going to be held on the 1st of May and EVERYBODY is invited!! I mean E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y!!
Haha... I think its going to be a chalet from the 1st to the 3rd of May, then from there, I'll go to May's chalet on the 3rd to 7th (I think... ) of May!

(note: I really mean EVERYBODY)

So cool! 5 days of FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!!!!

And even better! I think it would be at downtown east!
LOLzzzz.. But East Coast also not bad bah... can race with Timothy - Bike against Blade...
haha...


Whats more... my bro says that he will pay for ALL my friends!!! weee~~!!

hmmz...

God is great... hahaz... Even in trying times, His blessings upon me shines through...

I love my friends...

I really do...

I think I'm suffering from BPD.... no joke.

Definition

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women. There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases. Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations. Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives.

Symptoms
While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day. These may be associated with episodes of impulsive aggression, self-injury, and drug or alcohol abuse. Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values. Sometimes people with BPD view themselves as fundamentally bad, or unworthy. They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes toward family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all.

Most people can tolerate ambivalence where they experience two contradictory states at one time. People with BPD, however, shift back and forth to a good or a bad state. If they are in a bad state, for example, they have no awareness of the good state.

Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to mild separations. Even a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans can spur negative thoughts. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

Faith, Trembling............

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

And You told me who I am..... I am Yours


This song echoes through my soul... I pray that one day.. my sole motivation for doing anything in life would be for His glory...

Was talking with my bro today about recent events.... friendships and studies... all these while waiting for my parents to return at the airport....
Though I talked with him and told him alot of stuff..... he reciprocated with many unconstructive comments...
haiz...

Its during these trying times when I want to return to the AJ community... To return to a group of guys who actually understand what I'm going through and how I'm feeling... People who won't reject me for my past...

A leopard never change his spots.... That was the message that he kept sending to me... though he never said out the actual phrase itself..

So am I an AJ for life?.... I need somebody whom I can relate to badly now... I've lost almost all trust in straight guys...
and I've excommunicated myself from the AJ society...
I feel like I'm dead now... Trapped between Heaven and Hell... Nowhere to go.... because nobody wants me...

I feel so unwanted...

Ever since the recent incident, I've become so self conscious about my actions that I resort to doing stuff that I feel uncomfortable doing... Should I conform to the world in showing that I act like a straight guy?
It is going to be my own undoing...

One thing that my brother told me that struck a chord in me very strongly was :
"You never know. Maybe God wants to show that the servent who lives the type of life that is pleasing to Him would be blessed and on the other hand, the servent that cant live up to His expectation will be downcasted and in some ways cursed.
It is not how much effort you put in, as everything is in God's hands... It is His will and what He choose to glorify Himself."

If that is so... I am serving a rather cruel god...

Why do I try so hard to please Him then... knowing that I wil never have the abilities to glorify Him?...
Thus... since I am unable to glorify Him... I guess... He must be using me as an example to show others that "this is the type of life that I dont want you to follow"....

I got so pissed off after talking for awhile to my brother that I stormed off to sit by myself...
Straight guys can NEVER. I mean NEVER comprehend what homosexuals go through....
Especially when they are trying hard to change...

Not a single word of encouragement from anybody close...
Not a single word of praise from anybody close...
Not a single word of acknowledgement from anybody close...

I know that it seems shallow if I base it on these 3 factors... but or course its a whole lot more...
I jus want to know that people know the struggle that I go through... that it is not easy changing...
That I'm trying so hard now... and yet people keep pushing me down...

There are so few people that I can talk to or dare talk to openly now....
Every night.. I will sit on my bed and look at the night sky...
And wonder... if somewhere out there.... God actually is smiling at me and encouraging me to go on with this decision that I made in life...

Cos... nobody is...........